Working With Wonderful Words

Many of us would think that in this high tech, instant-communication, and instant-gratification world of ours, that getting our point across would be a snap. Not true! In fact, our messages have become diluted. Speaking, writing and language skills aren’t what they used to be. With technology, it has hurt the way we relate. Studies show that many of us have tougher time than ever relating to one another with words. The good news is that, if you realize and recognize the situation, adapt to it, and learn those wonderful words and phrases that can push through today’s communication clutter, you set yourself apart from others and have a much easier time getting your message over and win your audience over.

Admittedly, there’s more to effective communication and presentation than simply having a healthy vocabulary or the gift of the gab. It also involves relatively clear-headed attention between you and your audience, proactive listening skills, genuine interest, and open-mindedness. Once you’ve gotten the point where someone is listening to what you are saying or reading what you have written, grabbing your audience with a strong word or phrase helps keep the communication open and hits both your listener and reader with an impact that allows for important and desired follow-up from both sides of the message.

Knowing how to use words well wins your audience over and gets you things while not knowing how to use them keeps things out of your reach.

Some examples we can learn together:

Weak : “With a few simple steps, we can improve our situation.”

Strong : “To improve our situation with a great future, here’s how we can get there.”

Weak : “It’s a good opportunity, filled with lots of possibilities.”

Strong: ” We have discovered a fantastic path to a new world of marvels.”

Weak : “Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain…”

Strong: “Dear Mr. Chief Executive Officer, I am shocked, frustrated and outraged over my recent visit at your…”

Weak : “We have an important decision to make.”

Strong : “We have reached a historic crossroads.”

Weak : “Here are my goals.”

Strong : “Here is a vision for our future.”

Weak : “What will people think?”

Strong : “How will history judge us?”

Weak : “Let’s concentrate on results.”

Strong : “Let’s focus on the dream.”

Weak : “I’m the best person for this job.”

Strong : “I’m here specifically to make things happen for you and your company.”

Weak : “You’re making mistakes.”

Strong : “You have got what it takes to make this right.”

Weak : “You’re in charge. Now get it done.”

Strong : “Everyone has entrusted you with this responsibility. Don’t let them down.”

Weak : “This plan will improve productivity.”

Strong : “This plan will increase the output of each worker by 50 percent.”

Weak : “Here’s what you did wrong.”

Strong : “Here are the adverse results of your actions.”

Weak : “Those new employees seem very enthusiastic.”

Strong : “That’s what I call highly motivated.”

Weak : “When are you going to turn this bad situation around?”

Strong : “How can I help you make things better?”

Weak : “Not my problem.”

Strong : “How can we go about fixing this?”

Weak : “This will never get better.”

Strong : “This is just the downhill part of the rollercoaster.”

Weak : “Please do not hesitate to call.”

Strong : “Thanks so much for all your good faith. I will check up on you in a week or so.”

In this world of poor social skills, insecurity, high-paced, short attention, and high-volume transmission of irrelevancies, the gift of understanding words and using them well and correctly puts you ahead. If you engage in the craft of utilizing wonderful words and phrases, you make yourself more superior, more important and more influential. Using words well helps you gets what you want in life.

Whether you are presenting, writing a speech, an email, or an article for the local paper, you will have a tough time convincing your audience and readers if you can’t get past the first sentence. The problem these days is that people are flooded with stimuli – much of it designed to garner the attention of the audience and readers to sell them things. A great hooking sentence – a clever opening line catches your audience’s interest – at the beginning of any written message will help you push through all that stimuli and increase the chance that audience will delve into what you have said.

The 3Vs in Presentation

Albert Mehrabian (born in 1939 to an Armenian family in Iran, currently
the Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA) has become known best for his publications on the relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages. His findings on inconsistent messages of feelings and attitudes have been quoted throughout communication seminars worldwide, and have also become known as the 7%-38%-55% rule.

In his studies, Mehrabian came to two conclusions. First, there are basically three elements in any face-to-face communication:

  • Words/Language (e.g. English, Mandarin, Malay)
  • Tone of voice (e.g. pitch, rate, quality)
  • Non-verbal behaviour (e.g. facial expression, gesture)

Secondly, the non-verbal elements are particularly important for communicating feelings and attitude, especially when they are incongruent. This means if words disagree with the tone of voice and nonverbal behaviour, people tend to believe the tonality and nonverbal behaviour.

Please note emphatically it is not the case that non-verbal elements in all senses convey the bulk of the message, even though this is how his conclusions are frequently misinterpreted. For instance, when delivering a lecture or presentation, the textual content of the lecture is delivered entirely verbally, but the non-verbal cues are very
important in conveying the speakers’ attitude towards what they are saying,
notably their belief or conviction.

Attitudes and Congruence

According to Mehrabian, these three elements account differently for our liking for the person who puts forward a message concerning their feelings. Words account for 7%, tone of voice accounts for 38%, and body language accounts for 55% of the liking. They
are often abbreviated as the “3 Vs” for Verbal, Vocal & Visual.

For effective and meaningful communication about emotions, these three parts used in expressing the message need to support each other – they have to be “congruent”. In case of any incongruence, the receiver of the message might be irritated by ‘two
messages’ coming from two different channels, giving cues in two different directions.

The following example should help illustrate incongruence in verbal and non-verbal communication.

  • Verbal: “I do not have a problem with you!”
  • Non-verbal: person avoids any eye-contact, looks anxious, has
    a closed body language, etc.

It is more likely that the receiver will trust the predominant form of communication, which according to Mehrabian’s findings is non-verbal (38% + 55%), rather than the literal meaning of the words (7%). This is known as “the 7%-38%-55% rule”.

It is important to say that in the respective study, Mehrabian conducted experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike) and that the above, disproportionate influence exerted by the tone of voice and body language
becomes effective only when the situation is ambiguous. Such ambiguity appears
mostly when the words spoken are inconsistent with the tone of voice or body
language of the speaker (sender).

Non-verbal communication is usually understood as the process of communicating through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual) messages – i.e. spoken language is not the only source of communication. There are other means too. Messages can be communicated through gestures and touches (Haptic
communication), by body language or posture, by facial expression and eye contact. Meaning can also be conveyed through object or artifacts (such as clothings, hairstyles or architectural designs).
Speech contains non-verbal elements known as paralanguage, such as voice quality, rate, pitch, volume, and speaking style, as well as prosodic features such as rhythm, intonation and stress. Dance is also regarded as a form of non-verbal communication.

Non-verbal communication is the most important skill that a presenter needs to develop to enhance his speech quality and make it to be easily understood. The results of Prof. Albert Mehrabian’s study shows:

Visual

55%

Vocal

38%

Verbal

7%

During a presentation, a vast amount of information is visually conveyed by your appearance, manner and physical behaviour as you deliver your verbal message. Your body lanuguage is an effective tool for adding emphasis and clarity to your speech. It is the most powerful instrument for convincing an audience of your earnestness, sincerity
and enthusiasm.

However, if your physical actions are distracting or they contradict your verbal message, your body language can rule over your words. Whether your objective is to inform, persuade, entertain, motivate, or inspire, your body language and the personality you project, must be appropriate to what you want to say.

If you want to be a better speaker, you must understand how your body can speak. You must learn how to manage and control your body language.

For more information on how you can be a better communicator or presenter, click and get you copy of Instant Guide for Instant Speakernow.